Wednesday, June 8, 2011

New Grasshopper Cup, Baby!



Dear Grasshoppers,

By now, you're likely getting seriously ramped up about summer jumping, which begins Saturday. Coach Bliss (Andrew) will be on hand to supervise the first jumps. These jumps will look a little rough around the edges, but will still go super deep. Such as this one here, by Werner Rathmayer. He clearly hadn't jumped in years and lost a bet to his buddy Jürgen Wienerhouser to go ski flying on the world's freakiest looking hill anyway.

Take a look:


Okay, that's just plain terrifying. But seriously. This post is about what drives athletes to succeed.

According to a study by "The Champions Network" that you've all certainly never read on "what motivates athletes", the heavy hitters are fear (used extensively by Coaches Bliss and McCahill with little to no success... Landon!), purpose (uhhh.... what?), and incentives. Since our rag-tag group of coaches has had no luck demonstrating purpose or instilling adequate amounts of fear, we have thus produced the necessary incentives. When I say "we", I mean superstar Grasshopper Alex Hohman.

We present to you, the new and improved 2011 Grasshopper Season Grasshopper Cup!!

Aerial/Skycam View


Alternate view. Copyright Hohman Enterprises, Ltd.


Nicely done, Alex. We're psyched. We're a little puzzled why you chose to write "2010" on the takeoff, when it's clearly 2011, but that's fine. You were probably brainwashed by the rapture. That's fine, so were we. The NYSEF Jump Office is now so chock full of canned goods, superfluous camping machetes, and inflatable rafts that we lost most/all of our important paperwork.

I know, important paperwork? Yeah, right. But we're serious about the rafts. You just wait.

See you Saturday!

--The NYSEF SJ/NC Media Team